Sunday, May 26, 2024

Buy Smoked Salmon

Smoked Out Advertisment

Compassion fatigue‘ has become a familiar phrase of late. We are bombarded throughout the day by images of suffering and misery. Even at home we are frequently reminded of our social responsibility by television appeals and frequent phonecalls regarding various miseries around the world and on our doorsteps. One thing of which we are rarely informed is smoked salmon fatigue.

Some socialites have reported this new phenomenon – after years of buffets and parties they have simply had too much smoked fish. Here, we catch up with a ‘victim’ of this new trend.

Ophelia, from Kensington, has been a small scale ‘it girl’ for years. She tells us ‘My life has just been a blur of parties since I was a teenager. At first it was amazing… I’d go to all these amazing places and meet all these cool people, and there’d always be well stocked buffets there. That’s how it started: the buffets.

‘The people around me just didn’t know when to stop, and I sort of got the habit from them. When no one was looking, we’d collar a waitress or sneak off to the buffet and stuff ourselves with smoked fish. It didn’t matter whether it was smoked Scottish salmon or smoked mackerel… it was just a matter of having the fish and eating it.’

Sadly, Ophelia’s obsession got out of control in the late nineties. ‘It was at a millennium party that I realised I had a problem,’ says Ophelia ‘and that I had to get it under control. It was at this party on the Isle of Skye for the weekend, with a group of friends. As the clock struck midnight, everyone else was kissing and hugging each other… I was in a corner, kissing and hugging a piece of wild Scottish salmon. The morning after, I woke up with a portion of salmon, some smoked swordfish and four tins of caviar in my bed. I knew then that it had to stop.’
But it didn’t stop there. Despite worried pleas from friends, Ophelia kept on feeding her habit, and herself, with fish products. Then, thankfully, smoked salmon fatigue saved Ophelia from a life of obsession. ‘One night I got home from a nightclub and was heading to the fridge for my usual post-club salmon and cream cheese bagel. I opened the fridge door and saw shelf after shelf of smoked fish products. I just stood there staring at the smoked halibut and smoked salmon pate for about half an hour without moving. All of a sudden, I couldn’t bring myself to eat any more smoked fish. At that point I realised that my smoked salmon days were behind me and I was in a position to make a fresh start.’

Now, Ophelia has occasional smoked salmon dinners but describes her habit as ‘completely under control.’ Smoked salmon fatigue saved her from a life of addiction and fishy breath.

Comments are closed.